I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
