Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
