Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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