How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
