yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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