Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
