He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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