just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
