Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
