the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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