Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
