i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize