Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
