But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
