Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
