Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My liver just had a heart attack.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
