Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he thought i was a dude.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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