can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
