More tranny stories later!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
