we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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