Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize