I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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