literally had 100 drinks last night.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
either way he was missing a nipple.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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