i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Randomize
