I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize