It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
It was confusing and full of hummus
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
