We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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