How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
