I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
