he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
