sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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