Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
