can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
