yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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