I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
