dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
