Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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