i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
