um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
