fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
This girl is more easily done than said...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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