I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
