I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize