i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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