He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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