True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I can feel your judgement through the phone
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
