somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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