You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
