super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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