you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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