She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
