I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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