the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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