i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize