You're completely useless in the revolution.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
