Need sex. Gaining weight.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
