I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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