I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
