Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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