why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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