NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
