She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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