Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
