my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
