I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I cut my penus on the lid.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
