isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
